Pretty

Last Sunday, my entire family embarked on a splendid vacation on the other side of Florida. I've been home alone since then, and even though I'm running out of food, I'm having a good time. Most of these days I've spent with Kaita, which is exactly how I wanted to spend them. Leah actually dropped by once, and she ate all my grapes.

Today, Kaita is hanging out with a friend, and I have the day to myself. I decided to go get a job. She had actually recently informed me that Borders is hiring. I figured I had a pretty good shot of getting hired, since I worked for a year at Barnes&Noble. When asking for a job application, my routine is as follows:

Dress nice, ask for manager, give a firm handshake, say I'm trying to get money for college, get the paper, fill it out, hand it back in.

The whole process usually takes only 20 minutes or so, depending on the length of the application.

Anyway, I waltzed in the door and confidently strode up to the nearest pudgy, unkempt, spectacled salesperson (or, PUSS) and inquired about the location of the nearest shift manager. She looked me over and said, "In regards to what?".



I was shocked. How dare she? Damnit, if I want to see their manager, then go GET them! The worst part about it is she was definitely, DEFINITELY patronizing me. I responded, "In regards to a potential employment opportunity and the prerequisite application forms, miss.". She then said, "Oh, here.". She handed me a tiny little card with a web address on it. She didn't get her manager, and she didn't give me an application form. I hate online applications. I'm too charasmatic for e-applying. If I can't shake someone's hand, flash them the famous Eller smile, and charm them with my...charm, then I have no chance. I guess this just stems from my distrust of the Internet.

I was watching Iron Chef (Japan), and during the commercial break, I saw a Miller Lite beer commercial. After watching a bunch of Abercrombie-esque men pat each other's backs and laugh in slow motion, the commercial concluded with, "The difference is Drinkability".

...What? "Drinkability"? That's not even a word! It's made up! What does "Drinkability" even mean? How easy it is to drink? The calibur of the drink? The quality of the hops? Of course the difference is "Drinkability", because YOU'RE THE ONLY BEER COMPANY THAT MAKES UP WORDS.

*pant pant pant gasp wheeze pass out*

-J

PS- I know Kaita hates it when I blow things out of proportion, but it's all for comedic effect. I don't really care that much. I just needed something to write about. Sorry, Sugarbob.