Beard

Yawn. Hey. What's up? Nothing. Okay, cool. See ya.

I really don't feel like doing a LOOKING BACK today, but I know you're probably foaming at the mouth waiting for this crap. Honestly, I've got a lot to do today, but I'm just going to get this out of the way. Besides, there's one event that I've been looking forward to covering. So, here goes a brief version of...

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!

17 June 2009

1462 - Vlad the Impaler III attempts to assassinate Mehmed II, forcing him to retreat from Wallachia. Vlad is also known as "Dracula", and for having a very strange moustache.

He also was a brutal sadist with a passion for torture. Whee!

1898: Surrealist and artist M.C. Escher is born. He's one of my favorite artists. He hurts your mind.

Get it?

1972: The Watergate Scandal is discovered. I'm still not really sure what happened. I just figured it was...important.

1987: The last Dusky Seaside Sparrow dies, thus rendering the species extinct. The worst part? Their habitat was the Southern Florida marshes, with which we sprayed a bunch of chemicals to kill weeds. So...we killed them. Florida sucks.

1994: Following a televised low-speed highway chase, OJ Simpson is arrested for the murder of his wife and "friend". Today is the 15th anniversary of The Juice's debauchery. But the court found him innocent. So he wrote a book called, "If I Did It", detailing what he would've done if he actually killed those people. Then he got arrested like, 3 months ago for stealing some of his own sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas hotel. Basically, he's a degenerate.

And that's all for today. Thanks for reading another volume of...

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!
17 June 2009

I've got stupid, 2-day FGCU Orientation tomorrow. Wish me luck. See ya!

Oh! Wait, wait. I found this video of Joaquin Phoenix (y'know, Johnny Cash in "Walk the Line"?) being a complete idiot on David Letterman's late-night TV program. I feel bad for Dave. He really tries to butter Joaquin up, and then just ends up making fun of him. Anyway, if you have an extra ten minutes, watch it. It's painful and funny. Like the guillotine!

-J