Eros

Yeah, I know I didn't do "Looking Back For Science" yesterday. Sorry. I was busy. If you're really that torn up about it, you should find something more important to worry about.

You know what commercial product has the worst slogan? Hot Pockets. Do you know what the Hot Pockets slogan is? It's some lady saying, "Hot Pockets!". How dumb is that? People are "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs", Frosted Flakes are "Grrreat!", and all Hot Pockets has going for it is...the name. I don't know, it's something that was bothering me.

I presented my portfolio to a humourless panel last night in Mrs. Hardman's room. I got a freakin' 80. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. "80" basically sums up my experience as a member of South Ft. Myers High School. I mean, it wasn't horrible, but it was kind of disappointing. Just like my grade.

I'm glad it's raining again. I got tired of everything being so brown and dry. I mean, I couldn't drive down 41 without seeing shrubs and medians spontaneously combust before my eyes. It was like a minefield.

"Aw dag, here comes another brushfire."

I saw something really stupid today in Mr. Roger's Marketing class. You see, all year, Tayler Anderson, Sundance, and Matt Calhoun have been making fun of this group of macho jocks that sit in the corner. All they talk about it boobs, cagefighting, drugs, cars, and tattoos. Y'know, typical macho stuff. These people (Nathan...something, Nick Martin, Simon...Brazilian Guy, and a couple other morons) are hands down the densest, most stupid fools I've ever seen. But today, the be-all end-all hilarious thing happened: they had a pushup contest. They moved a bunch of desks around and started compteting. Between pushups, the onlookers (only two dufuses went at a time) shouted typical macho things, like, "You're not doing 'em right!, Let me do it!, You're going to slow!, You didn't go all the way down!", nonsense like that. After they finished, we all clapped and told them how impressed we were. It was really, really pathetic. I guess this story didn't have much of a payoff.

Ok, let's get this over with.

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!
21 May 2009

1856 - Lawrence, Kansas is captured and burned down by pro-slavery forces. This really doesn't mean much, but Shayla is from Kansas. And this sort of confirms my suspicions that Kansas is very, very racist.

1881 - Clara Barton founds the Red Cross. Big whoop. We'd be better off without them. I mean, we wouldn't have to listen to them whine about "donations" and "food cabinet shortages". Why don't they do something for themselves for a change. Whiners.

1927 - Charles Lindbergh touches down in Paris, completing the world's first nonstop flight across the Atlantic. So what? What did he do for me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

1936 - Sada Abe is arrested after wandering the streets of Tokyo for days with her dead lover's severed genitals in her hand.

Kinky, neh?

1998 - Five abortion clinics in Miami are hit by an acid attack by a lone vigilante. Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither!

And that's another pathetic edition of...

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!

You know what word sounds like a bad word, but really isn't? "Pussyfooting". I just think it's funny. It basically means to beat around the bush (ha!). Okay, that's all.

See ya, fool!

-J