Columbus Day

Hello, my people.

I noticed a lot of people I know are starting blogs. I don't know if I had anything to do with it, but I'ma pretend I inspired all these budding authors to express themselves. That's me. Jordan Eller. Trend setter. Go getter. Pants wetter.

What?

What do you guys think of Tyler Perry? That black guy (sometimes old lady) that only makes movies and TV shows about dysfunctional (and usually overweight) black people. This guy:



He created all the Madea movies. Y'know. This lady: Er, guy: Whatever:

Yeah, anyway. All he does is write lame comedies about how crrrrazy black people are. I mean, if I were black people, I'd be offended, because thanks to the likes of Mr. Perry, the world thinks I'm some psychotic and overweight buffoon. McDonalds isn't helping either. Have you noticed this? Almost all the McDonald's commercials portray a bunch of black people rapping either a) on the street or b) in their attic about how much they love Big Macs. Isn't that weird? Maybe I'm just neurotic. Ugh.

Okay, it's Wednesday. That means it's Vol. 2 of...

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

1500 - Portugese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral becomes the first European to spot Brazil. I thought Portugese people were from Brazil. I'm so confused.

1945 - Hitler admits defeat in his underground bunker. Thank heaven. He was a rather unsavory fellow, wasn't he?

1970 - The first Earth Day is celebrated, marking it the first new worthless holiday since like, Columbus Day.

Thanks for the syphilis, Chris!

1998 - The Animal Kingdom opens at Walt Disney World in Orlando. What a waste. Animals are just as boring in real life as they are in pictures.

2006 – Four Canadian soldiers are killed in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb planted by Taliban militants, the worst single day combat loss for the Canadian army since the Korean War.

...Canada has an army?

At that, Ellerpets, is the second edition of...

LOOKING BACK...FOR SCIENCE!

That's all, folks. Tune in next time when my special guest is Bill Nye the Science Guy!

-J