Conjunction

I just realized something: I'll never be able to tell if I have pinkeye. Since I'm colorblind and all, I'm missing a component that is crucial for the identification of one of pinkeye's most telltale symptoms: pinkness. Two colons in two sentences, wow! I'm moving through these things faster than the hooker that looted DJ AM's New York apartment after she killed him!



I figure one day, I'll be walking around campus, and some innocent passerby will come up to me and say, "Gee, you don't look so good.". Then I'll say, "Yeah, well, that's what your idiot deadbeat father said when your whorebag mother's water broke, but you still made it. You're a miracle of science and nature.". After Donny McBeefynads knocks off my jawbone, it'll hit me that something might actually be wrong.



I'll end up asking everyone I see, "Does this look infected? And if it does, do you think it's virus-related or bacterium-based?" It's not the best way to meet new people, but it's better than, "Hey, I'm Jordan. No, I'm not a meth addict."

-J

PS - For some reason, now when you click the pictures within my post, they blow up to where you can actually see them. Way to go, Blogger.

Greg

Howdy folks.

My first week of college was relatively uneventful. I started all my classes and unceremoniously met up with some old Southies and SFCAians. My dorm is by far my favorite part about the whole experience, though. My own thermostat, my own locked door, my own...laundry basket. Ah, life is good.

I got an email from Kasenow recently. He said he hasn't noticed any intellectually stimulating students this year. Then he quoted Alexander Pope.

I went grocery shopping today at Target. Well, uh, by "grocery shopping", I mean I picked up some cheese, Triscuits, and Ho-Hos. I've never felt more collegiate.

I spend most of my free time playing on my laptop, Skyping with people, eating, and hanging out with K. Tinkoff. Suffice it to say that this is the most relaxed I've ever been at the start of a school year.

I was exiting Target with "groceries" in hand when I entered the glass-lobby-thing at the front of the store. There was a couple with a small child in front of me in a shopping cart. As I was walking through the automatic slidey doors, the kid manages to fall out of the shopping cart.

I stood there, horrified, but not because of the new dent in the kid's skull. The parents started chastising and yelling at the kid! Saying stuff like, "You deserved that one!", and, "Look what you did! You shoulda sat still!". Uh, pardon me, but your kid is broken, and all you can do is yell at it? Come on, humanity. Let's get our act together.

I saw a really dumb bumper sticker today. It was blue with big, white type that said "I Believe In EVOLUTION!". Under the word evolution was the word, "God", but "God" was scratched out. As most of you know, I'm a staunch Christian. I wasn't offended as a Christian, but as a human.

People like that are the reason there are wars and hate and racism and probably diabetes. I don't care what you believe in, how you act, your creed, or your heritage. I respect you as a person (unless you prove me otherwise). But when you go out of your way to stick it to an entire community to promote your own feeble opinion, that's when I start having problems with you. It's the same thing with Atheists. Just because you don't believe in God doesn't mean you all of a sudden have the right to go around protesting at churches and post "Jesus sux" on Christian websites and forums.

I read a news story the other day. It said that a large group (50 or so) of Atheists had a "reverse baptism". These people met in a public park and dressed in robes and took turns using blowdriers on each other while repeatedly chanting, "Logic over superstition.". Now, again, what you believe is your own business, but when you go so far as to mock a sacred tradition that dates back 3000 years just to make a statement, you need to re-evaluate your life, pal.

Faith is a personal choice and should never be a publicity stunt.

Okay! See you guys later!

-J

New Home!

Hey! Sorry for the writing sabbatical. I've moved into my FGCU dorm, and right now I'm typing on my brand-new (albeit defective...) laptop. I've decided I hate laptop keyboards!

Everything is cool! Kaita helped me make my dorm fabulous and has kept me company these past few days. Today I ran some errands around campus. I met my new band teacher. He's a really awesome guy, which is a welcome contrast to my previous experience with a band teacher. I also found out that I'm not allowed to drive to any of my classes, which is NOT a welcome contrast, since my first class is a good 30 (!) minute walk from my dorm. Rrrg.

I can't stand this little keyboard. My brother is giving me a decent USB keyboard in a week or so. I hope my laptop lasts that long. If you're not Kaita, then you wouldn't know that this laptop is somewhat broken. The screen is bad. Right now it's working, so keep your fingers crossed. Muh.

Alright, I'ma go eat. I'll write soon. Probably.

-J

Oh! Also, I got a Skype account, so log on and track me down. Bye!

Bucolic

Hey everybody. Kaita went to Miami with her family and I just got in from working in the rain. I figure after this post I'll go watch some old Steve McQueen movies I just Netflix'd, since I don't have much to do today.

I talked to my bud Jack (White) Trescott yesterday. He seems to be doing well. I was a tad disappointed to hear he traded in his cinematographic knowhow for a microscope and a labcoat, but I understand. It's hard to put food on the table when you want to be a musician/artist/movie maker. Oh well. Who knows?

I've never seen an attractive hobo. Maybe that's because good looks actually ARE the key to success! You don't even have to be super attractive, either. Basically, as long as you have all your teeth, shave once in a while, and don't smell like pee and beer, you're set!

Hm. Now that I'm actually looking over my picture there, I realize that I've never seen any lady hobos, either. The hobo world is a mystery to me. I do believe in that "attractive=success" mantra, though. Like it or not, people are mean, and unless you're easy on the eyes, you're going to have a tough time. Unless you're easy on the genitalia. Look at Britney Spears. Bah, uh, anyway. I don't think I'm an attractive person by society's (Abercrombie's) standards, but I have a lot of other things going for me. It's all about confidence and respect. If some guy (let's call him Kasey) thinks he could put a mirror store out of business as soon as he walks in the door, then he's screwing himself. Maybe he could shatter a mirror or two, but until he gets past things that he can't change, he's just ignorant. And ignorant is bad. Samuel Johnson said it best, I think:

"He that voluntarily continues ignorant is guilty of all the crimes which ignorance produces."

I've been seeing a lot of teaser trailers for the new Final Destination movie. Oh, whoops, sorry, the new THE Final Destination movie. This movie was interesting (but by no means good) the first time, but seriously, how many times can you have a scene in which a woman is too busy yelling at someone to notice she's about to be obliterated by some flying debris?

Look out, you dumb broad!

I've seen that like, a thousand times! If you're going to make a gore-horror ("Gorror) movie, then it has to have some substance behind it. The first Saw had more gore than America's 2000 Presidential Campaign, but the traps were clever, and the story concise. Albeit the Saw series has dragged itself out for way too long, but you get the point.

You know what movie I want to see? Inglorious Basterds. I don't know if I'm a bandwaggoner or not, but for every 10 gritty, super-realistic war or action movies, there's one completely over-the-top Quentin Tarantino movie. It's a refreshing palate cleanser.

-J

Espresso

Hey hey! Yesterday I bought a laptop. An HP laptop, to be precise, I guess. My parents had generously offered to pick up the tab, so I asked, "What's your price cap"? The said, "Well, we're not going over a thousand dollars. We'd like you to keep it under that.". No problem, I thought. So I hopped on HP.com and picked a model. The base specs weren't really what I was looking for, so I went component-by-component customizing this sucker. After half an hour, I had finished and the grand total had come to $999.55. Ha! I even had some left over cash! Now I can go spend that cool $.45 on a gumball or something.

That's what I imagine the inside of a septic tank looking like.

The meteor shower last night was really good. The minute Kaita and I walked out there, a giant fireball streaked across the sky. We ran and got some blankets and plopped down in the front yard. Between the swats at the incessant assault of mosquitoes and the fits of laughter caused by the local toads (Local Toads is a good band name), we kept careful watch on the night sky. While the subsequent meteors were not as spectacular as the first, there were a good amount of shooting stars. All in all, we spotted about 25.

I hate it when a company that is absolutely famous for a certain product runs out of the certain product. It happened to Taylor in Kansas. We went to Panera Bread and she ordered a sandwich. Everything would've been fine, except that Panera Bread quickly informed us that they had, in fact, run out of bread. Are you kidding me? That's like a gas station running out of gas, or Zumiez running out of low self-esteem! I think the very first chapter of any business management-type book should be "Don't make a certain product the lodestone of your company if you can't produce it.". DUH.

Ok, I think that's all. I can't wait until my laptop comes! Whee!

-J

Gene

Yesterday I spent the day with Andy Francis. We played Halo and went antique shopping, and it was good. Later that night, I met Joey Earle, Patrick Ryan, and Madison Wagner at the Ale House for a hearty helping of buffalo wings, and it was good. They're all leaving within the week for various colleges scattered across the US, and I had a good time. They're good people, although Patrick was on his phone for like, 45 minutes. He has horrible manners.

Tonight I'm going to Kaita's to watch the Perseids meteor shower, but I can't figure out when would be the best time to go outside and watch the sky. Google has yielded almost no viable results. I've gotten pages that say "9-11PM is best", and then when I double check with another page, it says "4-5AM is peak viewing time". Why, Google? Why must I suffer such an injustice at your e-hands?

I've been thinking a lot about information control. Censorship, meme theory, selective pressures, etc. If I ever compose my thoughts into a readable venue, I'll stimulate you with some good ol' fashioned conspiracy theories and whatnot. But not now. I'm tired. I'm stressed about school and whatnot, so I don't know when I'll be able to be illuminating again, but just wait it out.

Bye!

-J

Toto

Hey! I'm back from scenic Tonganoxie, Kansas! It was definitely an experience I won't soon forget. Shayla was glad to see us, and we were glad to get out of Ft. Myers for a week. Kansas is probably what you'd expect: lots of corn, lots of road, lots of hills, and not a lot of much else. Except Sonic Drive-In. Those things are everywhere! When you look out towards the hills in the distance, the horizon is punctuated with yellow and blue neon signs. It's kind of tragic, really. I'm not going to describe my entire vacation, since we really didn't do anything too amazing. We (Taylor and Shayla) went shopping, and we sampled a lot of the local cuisine. Tonganoxie is sort of like Sanibel Island; if you want to go somewhere cool, you have to drive for awhile. Anyway, I took some quick snapshots of my trip. Taylor has an $800 Nikon camera, so she was the principal photographer. I'ma try to get her to email me some of those.

Ahem! On to the memories!





This was my bed for 5 days. It was a spongy little futon, but it was comfortable in a weird, uncomfortable way.

Taylor just had to order her tater tots herself. Notice how Shayla seems used to this sort of behavior...

A very, very creepy doll in Shayla's basement. That thing gave me the jibblies.

I followed the girls around a mall for 3 hours on Wednesday, so Shayla bought me a book for being such a good sport. If you know me, you know I love this series and this author. I was very excited. However, my excitement was soon tempered when the girls dragged me into a thousand more stores. In all, we would spend about 6 hours at this mall.

The second photo was a 3D diorama of Super Mario World displayed in a storefront in downtown Lawrence. It was really cool. Sorry I had to put the description down here, but this damn Blogger format won't let me put text up there. I hate this thing.

When I returned to Ft. Myers yesterday at about 5:00PM, I was greeted by gray skies, upped gas prices, and a triple-homicide (or something of the like) in San Carlos Park.

Home, sweet home.

-J